Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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