Already got asked if we're dating
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
