so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize