Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
