I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
