if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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