Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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