His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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