So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize