whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
