Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
