Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
