remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
