I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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