I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
