bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
