we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
