small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
