i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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