I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
