Duck Duck Cougar?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
