some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize