Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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