dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
