No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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