yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am spending my child support on dildos
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just forgot I was standing up.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
