She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
