why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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