Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry about my life...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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