she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize
