My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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