Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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