hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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