Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
