Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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