I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
