He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
