I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
