we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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