She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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