Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize