dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
