is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
