After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
