he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
