even my farts smell like vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize