Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
