I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
