I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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