I am puke
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize