guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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