see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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