Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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