I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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