I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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