why didn't you poke me back
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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