I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
