I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
