I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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