Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
