love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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