She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
