did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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