I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
