Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A+ Viking dick
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