My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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