Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
