He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
